Confessions of a shopping-phobia mom

I have a confession...there was a time when I avoided going out in public with my kids...at all costs! And when I was put between a rock and a hard place and had no other option but to load up my toddler and baby in the car and go out somewhere like the local grocery store or a quick trip to Target, I would have a mini-anxiety attack! I would run through all the things that could go wrong, got myself all worked up...to the point of physical pain. Then the guilt would set in...I am a child development specialist. I helped other parents do this everyday in my job, handle their parenting woes, with successful results. 

Finally one day when I confessed my own "shopping-with-my-kids-phobia" to a close friend, she laid it out for me. She said,"Brie, you can't keep doing this. You have to stop worrying about what could go wrong, follow your own advice and just do what needs to be done!".

Now I know that may not sound like much of an "Ah-ha!" moment to anyone else, but it was for me. I needed to face my fears and follow my own advice. How was I going to help prevent my kids from having total breakdowns in public? Then I found it...my favorite go to piece of advice for all parents in this same predicament: H.A.L.T. 

These simple four letters can alleviate most child-induced breakdowns when out and about!

H: Hungry. Before you leave the safety of your fully-stocked house, make sure no one is hungry. But what if I am going to be out during snack time or something? Then think ahead and pack a snack. And to be even more prepared, I even go with the +1 rule. I always pack 1 extra snack for each child. Just in case the munchies hit especially hard. And don't forget drinks. Many people feel the sensation of hunger when they are truly just a little dehydrated.

A: Angry. Before you load everyone up in the car, take a moment to really look at every one's emotional state. Nothing can bring out the grumpies in a little one like feeling slighted.Maybe their sibling took one of their favorite toys earlier that day, or maybe they are still sour about being denied an extra snack or a play date. Whatever the cause, try to work through those feelings with your little one before leaving.

L: Lonely. I am sad to say we get this one a lot in our house. Many times I forget that even with 2 kids, close in age, who play together all the time, sometimes they still feel lonely...even when surrounded by family! So just like with the "A" above, take a moment to really assess your child's feelings before you leave. If any of them are feeling lonely, take a few minutes to give some extra cuddles. Help fill their cup...because as you are out and about, running errands, it is hard to give the cuddles and attention needed to help alleviate the feelings of loneliness.

T: Tired. This one seems like a no brainer, doesn't it Well, it's more than just "Don't plan an outing during nap time", which, by the way, is a cardinal rule to avoid breakdowns, but this is about your kids not running at full speed. While on many errands, we as parents are the ones that have to do most of the legwork (no pun intended), and our kids get to just ride along in the car, only have to walk into the store, and then often can ride in the cart or stroller while shopping or whatever. But to a kid, just the getting in and out of the car, that little bit of walking, and trying to not be bored can be EXHAUSTING! So....if your little one didn't sleep well the night before, or skipped a nap, or just appears tired for no real reason you can think of....you might want to think about if you really have to do this outing.

So before you head out to simply run a errand or two, or go for an all-day outing with your kids....always remember H.A.L.T. before you go there! And address each of the letters with your kids. If you can't meet all the needs noted in H.A.L.T. before you leave or while you are out, seriously consider if you really have to do this outing right now, or if you can put it off until all these needs are met. :)