Parenting Tip Post: Respecting the Rules

Who hasn't had that moment where we are certain that our children have a specific deafness to our voice as we relentlessly shout out rules at them?                                              
"Don't hit your sister!"                                                                        

                                   "We don't put our stuffed animals in the toilet."       

"Keep your fingers out of your nose please!"                                      

Need I go on?  

Here are my top 4 tips to help get your little ones to respect your rules, follow them, and to hopefully help you keep your sanity!

1. Define the rules for your child. Often we assume that by telling our child that "we don't hit" or some other rule as it happens, that our child understands that is a rule. Not so. They often see that interaction as something that just happened in the moment. If you don't clearly tell and remind them of the rules, they have no idea that they just “broke” a rule. So take a minute to explain the rules to your child. And remind them of them to help them remember and learn the rules and thus, what’s expected from them.

2. Limit the number of rules you have (the real offences). Experts suggest that children under 5 years old have only about 2-4 real offend-able rules. That means there are only 2-4 house rules that your child can disobey and there will be some form of consequence to that. Is it annoying and frustrating that your child keeps leaving all their toys in the living room even after they are done playing with them? Sure! Defiantly! But does it really deserve a time out? Not likely.

3. Consistency is KEY! If the rules aren't consistent than what your child is actually learning is that you don't always mean what you say, and that some rules have wiggle room. While not everything is black and white, for your younger children, they need solid boundaries to understand the concept of rules. So that old saying is defiantly true: Practice what you preach.

4. Don't say "Don't". Okay...I did that on purpose. No one likes being told "don't", but for kids under 5 yrs old...it is only giving them half of the information. They are very concrete thinkers. Okay...so I don't do that....what do I do? That is where you can change the whole game plan! Instead of saying "don't ______", tell them what they can or should do. Instead of “Don’t hit your sister” try “Use your words, not your hands please”