A study
from the University
of Missouri in Columbia showed that when the parent (typically
tested with mothers) repeatedly directed their child in play, the child was
LESS engaged in the activity, and sometimes showed more negative feelings
toward the parent. However, if the parent took a less active role in directing
play (for example did NOT tell the child where to put a toy or how to play with
a specific toy or activity) the child displayed a happier, more positive play.
More tips for a
happier kid:
1. Recognize the positive! Catch
your child doing something well and show them how happy that makes you.
especially in those moments where you can tell they really weighed the options.
This is really great for toddlers who are exploring their boundaries. When you
see your toddler really thinking about throwing that ball at the TV, but
instead rolls it over to you, let them know you are happy!
2. Use at least 5 words of
encouragement and love everyday. Tell your child that you love
him. That they make you happy. That they did a good drawing. The possibilities
are endless! Every positive statement your child receives from you helps
"fill their emotional cup".
3. Offer Choices! Everyday,
the grown ups in their world tell them when they will go to sleep, what they
will wear, who they will interact with, what they will eat, and so on. Choices
can help your little one feel like they matter.The choices can big as big or as
little as you feel works for your family. For a baby under 12 months, let them
pick the toy they want to play with; a 1 yr old can pick which color cup to
drink from; your 2 yr old can pick an item of their clothing. The options go on
and on!
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