So as my daughter hopped out of bed, and I heard her tiny little feet running down the hall to my room- I panicked a little. I knew her first question would be the million dollar question: Mommy, what are we doing today? See- even my kids know that mommy always has a plan!
I stumbled over my words for a second, then told her it was a surprise. She was very happy with that answer. Phew! Dodged that bullet! So on went the morning, my son drug himself out of bed a little later, we did a few things around the house, then after repeated suggestions from my daughter, we decided to go to the park for the morning...as did everyone else in our city! As we pulled up to one of the largest park in Chandler (Tumbleweed), the plethora of cars made me realize that the park was not such a unique idea. Where my kids squealed with joy at the opportunity to play tag with dozens of new kids, my stomach turned at the idea of how I was going to keep them in my sights every second with all these other kids around? This would not be something I could easily control. I was alone with the kids here! Without my husband I lost my all important man-on-man coverage!
As the kids jumped out of the car and looked at me for the okay to run off to the park, I took a deep breath and decided I had to try something new. I called them over to me and we talked about what the rules would be at the park today. We go over the rules every time we visit the park- just a good rule of thumb if you ask me- no hitting, no shoving, be nice to everyone, and of course, don't talk to strangers. But today's discussion was more for me than the kids as I explained that they could move from playground to playground (there are a total of 4 different playground areas at this park) as long as they told me when they left one to go to another. This was a very big deal. I was getting sweaty palms as I spoke. What if one of them got hurt when I wasn't standing 4 feet away? What if some other kid was bullying on my when I was across the playground and couldn't see? What if, God forbid, a stranger tried to talk to or take my kids and I wasn't there to snatch my child up in my arms? Okay...that last one was a bit extreme, but those were the thoughts running through my head.
I looked at my son, smiling from ear to ear. He was so excited to be at the park and to get some room to play as he wanted, I had to suck it up and let him do his thing...I knew my daughter wouldn't wonder far off from me. She may be a daddy's girl...but she's also quite a momma's girl too! :)
So off they ran to have fun and play. Play just like my parents let me do when I was their age. Run freely at the park, make new friends, and explore without their mother hovering over them ever second. I could do this...I would let go and the world wouldn't end, right?
It was hard, a few times I had heart failure when it took me a whole 60 seconds to find them on the playground....but we all survived. And at the end of it, I felt proud. Proud that my kids were able to think for themselves and not get hurt or lost. I also felt proud. That I was able to let go of the reins a little bit, and see that everything would still be okay. I didn't have to control or plan everything...it just happened on it's own.
Amazing...the world doesn't require me to keep it running...I had no idea! ;)
were there that day...
TOMORROW:
Day 5: The MOVIES!!
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